Mothering Corner

I’ve been pretty busy with the house in  Bangkok and I’ve just got another batch of furniture for my kids’ room. They are going to share a room together, and I plan to train them to sleep on their own now. They have always been co-sleeping with us, so it’s going to be a huge step for all of us. I think I will just read them their bedtime stories and wait until they have fallen asleep before returning to my own room. I know that my little gal won’t go to sleep if I’m not around. However, time will come when they have to learn how to fall asleep by themselves.

I want them to have separate rooms later, but so far, the house is too small for that. We need to reserve a room as our home office and the kids’ study area, so for the time being, they will have to share the space. They are still young, so I don’t think that’s any problem about it. I shared the same room with my brother until about 10, if I’m not mistaken.

Anyway, I hope that they will like this idea and learn to sleep in separate room once we bring them here. I think they will get used to it sooner or later, so wish me luck.

I prefer my kids to be buckled up in car seats when we are on the road because they will be more obedient and won’t distract hubby from driving safely. That’s why I plan to send their car seats all the way here to Bangkok and they will still continue to use them until they are older for safely belts.

If you have been to Bangkok, it’s not surprising to see the passengers riding on the back of the pick up truck or riding on motorcycles without their helmets. It’s only illegal to ride without a helmet, but passengers can sit at the rear of the pick up trucks for traveling. Will they fall out from the truck if there’s an accident? Sometimes, you can see lots of people squeezing themselves in a sedan and I always wonder if the passengers will get hurt badly if someone hit the rear spoilers?

I’m not trying to be paranoid. I can accept the ways of how the locals travel on the road but I prefer my kids to be safely buckled up. When it comes to my  kids’ safety, I want to be strict about it.

I don’t have a smooth marriage like a fairy tale. Hubby and I had our bad moments too and I thought I would just walk out from the marriage with my kids. But still, that didn’t happen and we worked things out. We fight like most couples too, but both of us know that it’s bad to do it in front of the kids and we avoid doing this as much as we can. Nowadays, we have a short couple time almost every night when we can just talk or watch the TV. If there’s an issue to be solved, we will talk about it when the kids have fallen asleep.

I think it’s important for the kids to see how loving the parents are instead of fighting endlessly. I’ve just talked to a man who’s been fighting with his wife for some time. Their twins are just one, but he knows that they can feel the tension in the air when the parents fight.

I found some useful tips about how to avoid fighting in front of your kids by Dr. Phil and eHow. Let’s remember this:

Think of your kids. Remember how much you love them, and how painful it is for them to see the two people they love the most angry with each other.

I really hope that he will solve things out with his wife. Gee…

I know that I should be busy with packing up instead of shopping for toys, but I want to get something special for the kids when we are away for 2 weeks. I won’t get a lot, but it’s enough to keep them occupied and interested while staying with my parents. Besides that, I prefer to show them how to play with the toys first, and if they want to pack the toys along to Penang, I will be more than glad.

I found that these guidelines are great for new parents who are unsure of the safety measures when it comes to buying toys for their children. Just take a look at the list and see if the toys at home are safe for your kids or not. I know that I don’t conform to all of them since we have older kids at home, but I will try myself to ensure that the toys my kids are playing with are safe. As for chemical substance, it’s kind of hard to determine. We can’t just send the toys to clinical laboratory service and check them out right? So, if you have lots of China made toys at home, just make sure that your kids won’t put them in the mouth or chew on them. I’m not being biased, some most China made toys are more suitable for older children, that’s why I tell my parents I will prepare their toys as they can’t see what’s the different among all these toys in the market.

Anyway, I won’t be buying anymore after this major purchase. I don’t want to have more than 5 carton boxes of toys being sent to Bangkok!

I was talking to some mothers just now and our topics of discussion lingered about what should our children learned. I operated a learning center before, so I’ve seen a number of parents who are eager to expose their children for their own good or just being kiasu. Frankly, there’s nothing wrong with enrolling your children in all those mental arithmetic, drawing, dancing, drama or anything extra classes as long as you can afford it and your children enjoy the classes. My boy just told me recently that he wanted to learn violin, but he’s too young for it. I might let him try later when he’s older, provided that he’s still interested. Of course, I will tell him that he can’t just quit easily because nothing comes easy at first. He has to be serious about music class as mommy and daddy are paying for the fees and musical instrument, so he better knows what’s lying ahead for him.

However, not every parent will talk to their children about the extra classes. Some will just enroll their kids because they feel that it’s needed. I’ve seen children being forced to do something that they clearly don’t enjoy, and I really wonder why the parents are still forcing. If my boy wants to quit violin later, I will ask him if he still remembers how much he’s interested at first, but he has really lost the passion, I don’t mind him quiting the class. Of course, he can’t just try and quit on everything, so communication is very important before my kids can join any extra classes.

I know that most parents have expectations. I have mine too, but I can’t imply them on my children. I want the best for my kids too, but if they are not enjoying it, what’s the point of forcing them? Will they thank me later if I do? LOL!

When I told one of my friends that my kids are learning phonics from Starfall.com, they didn’t agree on my way of exposing my children to computer. They are afraid of their boys will be addicted to computer games, and this is one of my fears as well. But nonetheless, I always believe that if you talk to your kids well and set the boundary, it’s always good for them to explore something new. Learning phonics can be really boring sometimes, if you have been doing it with games and quizzes. I think Starfall.com has lots of games that manage to capture the attention of the children and at the same time, they are learning how to read as well.

When my kids were babies, I sang phonic songs from “Ants on the Apple” book. You can get it from MPH, and it’s pretty easy to learn. Once I noticed that my boy can master the sound, I began to introduce learning phonics with computer games. Even my little gal likes it too, but she can’t work well with the mouse, of course.

But there’s another thing that parents might want to take note if you are introducing computer to your little children. Please make sure that your PC has parental control and you are the one who open the website for them. I don’t let them explore more than Starfall.com. Besides that, you have to watch the distance between the screen from your child so that she’s not sitting too close to the monitor. It’s to protect her eyes. The last but not least, make sure that your computer cables and CAT5e lines are all organized and hidden behind. Sometimes, kids might be curious to pull the cables and it’s important to prevent them from electrocuted.

So, do you like Starfall.com? But if you still think your children are not ready for this, just wait for the right time.

Hubby is pretty close to the kids and if he’s away on business trips, he will make it up to them by spending some quality time doing something fun with the children. I won’t join in the gang if they are going to the park as it’s part of their daddy and children moments which they enjoy a lot without mommy’s company. I’m with my kids most of the time, so it’s nice to have a break from mothering too.

Nonetheless, I feel that hubby is exaggerating about how the kids will “forget” or not being close to him if he’s away for more than 2 weeks. I don’t think children will forget parents easily since they are not babies anymore. Most probably, they will miss their parents and might even cry for months looking for them. Besides that, we can always call or talk to the kids via webcam, so they can still be connecting to us, even if they might be crying on the other side of the line. Gee…

So, now you got it. Hubby and I are not bring the children along on the next trip to Bangkok. There are so much to do and it’s best to leave them with my parents again after some consideration. Furthermore, they will be coming with us shortly after if we manage to set up a home there as soon as possible. Hopefully, the kids can understand why we are doing this instead of thinking mommy and daddy “dump” them behind again. Sigh…

When my kids were babies, they were very attached to me. Maybe I was nursing them directly, so I was always there for them most of the time. Hubby was a bit left out until my second baby came along. Since then, my elder boy enjoys daddy’s company. But now that my little gal is going to be 2 this month, she likes to play with daddy too. Sometimes, they don’t even want me to join in, especially when hubby brings them to the park.

I am not as protective as other mothers, but I’m not as lenient as hubby. Hubby lets them try out all those adventurous stuffs which I would be screaming “stop” and “no” at. That’s why they prefer mommy to stay at home or go somewhere else when daddy brings them to the playground.

Nonetheless, I have private moments with my kids too, when hubby is not around. We play different roles with the kids as mommy is more for providing the necessary needs while daddy is more like having fun. Maybe I should be like hubby sometimes, letting go of my mothering instinct and stop being protective. I should just be their playmates and have more fun with them. But firstly, let me learn not to be so protective when my little gal is climbing up the stairs towards a 8ft tall tunnel slide first. Tell me, won’t you be shouting “Be careful” at the bottom of the slide seeing a 23 months old toddler climbing her way up there?

My kids are only 16 months apart, so they are great playmates for each other. Like most kids, they enjoy playing with each other but there are times when they fight as well. I’ve just stopped them from pushing each other at the staircase just now as I was worried that either one of them would tumbled down the stairs and got themselves hurt. Some times, they would use any toys or objects to hit one another and I have to snatch the things away and pull them apart. Now you know why I haven’t bought any Baseball Equipment, especially the baseball bat? Who knows if they will use it to hit each other?

I am trying my best to teach them to express themselves verbally. If they want to get a toy from others, they will have to ask for it politely. If my boy is still playing with it, then my gal will have to wait for her turn. They are still learning about waiting patiently and taking turns. Sometimes, my gal will walk to her brother and say, “Share share (with) me.” Of course, my boy doesn’t share his stuffs all the time, but he is willing to share with her occasionally.

I guess it’s normal for kids to fight with each other as it’s one of the ways they interact with friends and siblings. However, I do hope that they won’t fight much when they are older. It’s quite tiring listening to those cries!

I try my best not to push my kids and I didn’t teach them how to read. My kids have interests in books because they enjoy listening to the words we read and looking at the pictures on the books. I don’t think my kids can read, even if my boy can recognize that alphabet. I started some simple phonics because they love the song, and I didn’t go further.

I have been wondering if I should start teaching them how to read now some blogger mommies are doing so. I searched on the net and found that Starfall.com has lots of useful tips that most mothers will be looking for. I think I will show my kids tomorrow and let’s see if they like it.

BTW, there’s an online store selling reading materials on how to teach children about phonic at Starfall. However, they don’t ship to Malaysia. I’m downloading the material now but too bad it’s not the colorful version. Nonetheless, I will try them out once my kids are ready for more.