Mothering Corner

I had my expat friends came over   for lunch last Sunday and it’s nice catching up with them. I prepared nasi lemak, which is an authentic Malaysian food, and I’m glad that they like it.

As usual, we chatted about our lives, work and kids. Since our kids are studying in different school systems, with mine in Thai school and hers in international school, I’m surprised to have learned that their kids mature faster than I thought. Her boy has already started computer games, showing some naked photos of girls after some levels, and it was introduced to him by his friends. O.o Bear in mind that he’s only 9. I’ve always thought that I’ll only face this issue when my kids are in their teens, but it seems like I’ve got to get myself prepared early.

Her 5-year-old girl has started fantasizing about idols, while my 4-year-old is still very much about lollipop and Barbie dolls. I don’t think my kids have any idols, except Ultraman, Ben 10, superheros and Power Rangers. LOL!

It’s an eye-opening talk to me and I’m glad that she’s willing to share. At least I can get myself prepared on how to deal with these issues next time.

And of course, we chatted about our kids eating habits. Like my kids, her boy doesn’t like veggies, and he won’t take any fruits too. Nonetheless, he is not taking any vitamins or supplements UK. But he’s still doing well, and he’s very healthy. Frankly, I would be freaking out if my kids are not taking any veggies and fruits. LOL! They are picky with vegetables, but at least they like broccoli, carrots and most of the fruits. It’s quite a big headache dealing with food pickers, and I guess most mothers will agree with this.

My gal has also cut down on her milk intake since I weaned her off her bottle. I’m not sure if she likes oat milk or whey protein, but I don’t mind trying. Luckily, she loves cheese, so that’s her main source of calcium. I’m aware of the sodium content in cheese, but I think she’s doing fine with 2 slices of cheese per day.

Of course, we talked about other topics too, and we enjoyed their company very much! Can’t wait to do this again next time.

My boy used to wake up at 5am when he was a baby, but he went back for nap at 7am plus. My MIL was kind enough to take care of him for me so that I could catch more sleep. My boy has never slept through before he was 3! His night feeding was every 2 or 3 hours, even after he started solid. Oh boy…

My gal is a better sleeper, but she needed a lot of comfort nursing. I was her pacifier, as long as she could manage to suckle, she would doze off to dreamland. I know that this habit is bad, but mommy was too tired to get up and doze her back to sleep. Unlike westerners, most Asian babies are not left sleeping in separate rooms. Again, I guess I’ve spoiled my babies.

After we moved here, I trained them to sleep in their room. At first, I used a night light for them, but hubby complained that it’s bad for their eyes. Forget about turning off the Kichler lighting outside their room as our kids might wake up in the middle of the night and come looking for us. It took me a few months to train them to sleep on their own successfully, then hubby broke the rules. He was away often so whenever he’s not around, the kids would sleep in my room. But when he’s back, he refused to send the kids out and preferred to tug in with them. I know that he misses them a lot, and wants to spend as much time as possible with them, but this didn’t help in getting the kids to sleep independently.

No doubt, both kids are back to sleeping in my room again! Argh…Hubby doesn’t seem to be bothered by our kids who can’t sleep on their own. He even said it’s best that they sleep with us as kids grow up very fast, they will be out of the house before we know it. O.o

Mornings can be rather stressful when I have to put breakfast on the table, get the kids ready for school and prepare their school bags. Hubby helps a lot but not with my gal. My gal has always been a mommy’s girl since she was a baby. She is going through a learning state when she wants to do everything by herself. Even if she can’t button her uniform, she still insists on trying so.

At first, we were struggling with her to help her out so that we won’t be late to school, but now, I let her have her own way. She is given time to help herself with bathing and dressing, while the rest of us get ourselves ready and take breakfast without her. LOL! When she finally asks for help, then only I will attend to her. It’s much easier for everyone and we don’t end up with a grumpy kid early in the morning.

She’s going through self-caring now, and frankly, I’m happy with her achievement. Of course, there are times when she’s driving me up the wall, but I keep telling myself that kids go through this state. If she wants the pens, just give them to her instead of taking them away. If she wants to try her way out, let her be. As long as she’s not hurting herself, she will have the space and time to try things out.

Dealing with defiance can be tricky and we need to be more patience. If you are interested to know more about self-caring and defiance, check out the articles at Baby Center. I think they are quite useful.

Previously, some people I know doubted about our decision of sending our kids to a Thai preschool, so I wrote a lengthy post about it. I understand that some parents are concerned about how much their children will learn academic wise, and that’s why more and more kindergartens are giving a lot of homework in preparing the children for primary schools.

If I’m still staying in Malaysia and have plan to send my kids to Chinese primary schools, maybe I will be stressing as much about their education too. It’s not easy to “survive” in a Chinese school without tuition, extra classes, lots of homework and etc, unless your kid is brilliant. But I’m glad that my children have another chance to learn in another environment now, so they don’t have to go through those stressful moments until much older. Most schools in Thailand still practice learn through play, and the homework is not as much as those given locally.

I check my kid’s homework everyday, and he doesn’t have to repeat the same letter or number for more than 5 times, but there are extra sheets of revising the letter or number he learns on that day. It’s much easier for him to finish his work and he enjoys school more. As for my little toddler, she doesn’t have homework. She tells me that she plays all day long.

I won’t know if our decision is right until our kids are older. But I’m sure about this, they are happy and eager to go to school. Maybe that will trigger their hunger for knowledge too huh?

I try hard not to spank my kids, but I did hit their hands when they were really naughty before, but I told myself not to do so just because I am angry with their behavior but only do so to teach them a lesson about danger or circumstances. Most of the time, my kids are doing fine, so we don’t have to piak them much. Besides that, I don’t really agree with hitting kids because they are very vulnerable.

I’ve recently known a little girl who has finger marks and bruises on her arms and legs. SIL told me that her mother hits her often, and she hits her hard. I can’t imagine what have the girl done to be beaten up, but I know that her family is having a serious financial crisis now and her parents are constantly fighting at home. This little girl seems to be very afraid of being herself. She played with my kids once, but since then, she was not allowed to play with them even if she wants to. I can’t speak Thai, so I can’t talk much to her mother.

It’s their family affair and I can’t interfere. But if the mother is doing so because of her own anger, I don’t think it’s the right way of parenting.

Before we moved here, my hubby is pretty much traveling around and my kids are attached to him as playmates. They would come to me at bed time or when they were seeking for comfort. But after a month of having a full time daddy around, my kids are getting more attached to daddy.

I have to cook and do some house chores at home so my kids are spending more time with daddy aka nanny. It’s good that hubby can help me out with the kids, if not I really can’t do much at home. At office hour, we take turn to attend to our kids and keep them away from trouble. We had some arguments over our kids sometimes, but now we will try not to be angry at them. My kids are just trying to be kids, so we can’t expect much from them. As long as we manage to get our things done, no matter where and where and how, we will call it a good day.

So, maybe I should give hubby one of those men’s jewelry as a token of appreciation someday huh?

I hate forcing my kids to school but in our current condition, it’s best to send them to school other than spending time at the office with us. Both hubby and I have to take turn to attend to them and our work is badly affected sometimes. Maybe we need to get a new software for tasks and getting things done, but none in this world will help us in parenting and dealing with our kids’ needs!

So, we have decided to send them to a nearby preschool in 2 months. They might not be able to speak Thai yet, but maybe they will learn faster at school by interacting with other children. Besides that, we have to concentrate more on our work and try to make a living here.

Nonetheless, we are trying to do the best for our children. Once we get home, we have to do our best in giving them the most attention and quality time. Like most working parents, it’s not easy to do so but we will do our best.

One of a child I know almost had an accident last night. She was running with a pencil in her hand but she tripped and fell to the floor. Her naturally reflex was to support her body with her hands, but she almost puked the pencil into her eye. Gosh, it was a scary sight and her parents were so shocked to see that.

I keep telling my kids not to run around with a sharp object in their hands, even if it’s one of those round pointed promotional pens. It’s best to be safe than sorry. I remembered that that was a news about a girl accidentally killed herself when she tripped with a chopstick in her hand. So, anything can happen in just a split of second.

I hate food bribery, but by all means, it works sometimes. My kids are feeding on junks more than usual since the day we started bring them to work. Like most children, they can easily get bored with the little office space and will surely mess things around. Thus, everyone likes to feed them food so that they can be quiet for a while.

I know that I should offer them healthy snacks, but they have long been corrupted won’t take it. So, it’s best to keep them busy instead of offering them more junks which are totally useless.

Another thing is, their grandparents like to offer them food so that they will behave as well. Food bribery is getting harder if it’s done by older generation as I don’t have any control about that. Gosh….I think I just have to find a balance point when it comes to food bribery. As long as they eat well at normal meal times, I better stop being so paranoid about it.

When my kids are babies, it’s so easy to feed them. They would just eat anything I prepared and they hardly split out the food or run away from the table. Wait a minute, they were babies, they couldn’t run nor walk yet! LOL!

But now, meal times can be pretty challenging. Like most kids, they don’t like all types of vegetables, so it’s trial and error to me when I cook for them. Broccoli is their best choice, but I prefer to add more variety instead of feeding one type of veggie.

Thus, one of my ways of introducing the vegetables is by preparing vegetable soups. Like most Chinese, we believe that soups are great for health as most of the nutrients are dissolved in the water in boiling process. The veggie or meat might be tasteless when the soup is ready if you boil it for long hours, so if you want to keep the veggie crunchy and fresh, don’t boil it for too long. My kids love to take the soup too, so even if they don’t take the veggie occasionally, I’m not too worried about it. They take fruits everyday and fruits are a good source of fiber and other nutrients.

Some Celery and corn from my vegetable soup

If possible, steamed veggie is the best to ensure that most of the nutrients are not lost. For a busy mother like me, I would just place a bowl of broccoli, cube potatoes and carrots on the top shelve of the rice cooker when I’m cooking the rice. By the time the rice is ready, the veggies are well steamed too. Pretty simple huh?