Mothering Corner

Hubby and I stayed up some some last minute packing last night. We are almost done with 80% of the clothes but there are still lots of books and toys which have not been packed. I’m still waiting for the green light from hubby if he is going to send his remaining stocks to Bangkok, if he’s doing so, I can just send the things together. We can’t possible move the books by ourselves as they are too heavy, especially my kids’ Gourier books.

I’ve talked to my boy about mommy and daddy going away again. Sometimes, he’s ok with it and even tells his sister not to cry as we will be back soon to pick them up. But there are times when he fusses about going along, and cries uncontrollably. I think we still need to reassure them as much as possible before we fly off in a few days. My gal is doing fine though, maybe she doesn’t understand that we are going away until she sees us leaving at the airport.

It’s only a temporary separation and hopefully it’s getting lesser and lesser once we have relocated to Bangkok. I better make sure that the webcam is working well at my parents’ place so that we can still talk to the kids every night before bedtime. That’s the least we can do for not being able to put them to bed.

I got a comment from Cynthia about my previous post and it got me thinking about how different people can be especially if we are living in different culture. Maybe my opinions may sound judgmental is some issues, but whose doesn’t?

Even if we are staying in the same country, that doesn’t mean we are seeing eye to eye with each other. I still remember how  much conflicts I had with SIL and MIL regarding my decision in breastfeeding as most of the people around me believe that Chinese don’t have much milk. I don’t know where they got that idea though. LOL! Besides that, not a lot of confinement ladies agree on breastfeeding as most breastfed newborn babies poo a lot and they don’t like to clean so much of dirty nappies!

Anyway, that’s just part of how conflicting things can be. But I am glad to hear a different opinion from Cynthia. Let’s just say that I welcome concrete suggestions and opinions, but if it’s too judgmental and bias, then I will ignore it. That’s what most blog owners will do.

I was all over my pubbing years when I decided to get married. Besides that, I don’t drink and thus I don’t miss the taste of alcohol at all. But there was once when I saw a pregnant lady took a few sip of beer at a wedding dinner. I know that some mothers will think that taking a few sips is not hurting their babies in the wombs but if who knows how frequent this is done? If possible, just stay away from alcohol as soon as you know you are pregnant and during those months when you are breastfeeding.

But if the pregnant mother still continue her excessive drinking habit without fail, her baby will most probably suffer from fetal alcohol syndrome when he is born. Babies with fetal alcohol syndrome are generally suffering from mental retardation. They might have learning disability and the head size is smaller than a normal baby too. Some babies have deformed facial features and poor coordination of limbs.

The effects are permanent on the baby, so it’s hard to understand why some pregnant mothers are totally ignorant with their drinking habits. Let’s just say that if you love your unborn baby and want him to be as healthy as possible, stay away from your wine clubs until he’s born. Of course, try to breastfeed him and stop drinking until you wean him off.

I know that I should be busy with packing up instead of shopping for toys, but I want to get something special for the kids when we are away for 2 weeks. I won’t get a lot, but it’s enough to keep them occupied and interested while staying with my parents. Besides that, I prefer to show them how to play with the toys first, and if they want to pack the toys along to Penang, I will be more than glad.

I found that these guidelines are great for new parents who are unsure of the safety measures when it comes to buying toys for their children. Just take a look at the list and see if the toys at home are safe for your kids or not. I know that I don’t conform to all of them since we have older kids at home, but I will try myself to ensure that the toys my kids are playing with are safe. As for chemical substance, it’s kind of hard to determine. We can’t just send the toys to clinical laboratory service and check them out right? So, if you have lots of China made toys at home, just make sure that your kids won’t put them in the mouth or chew on them. I’m not being biased, some most China made toys are more suitable for older children, that’s why I tell my parents I will prepare their toys as they can’t see what’s the different among all these toys in the market.

Anyway, I won’t be buying anymore after this major purchase. I don’t want to have more than 5 carton boxes of toys being sent to Bangkok!

Mothering can be a tiring and stressful job. That’s why I keep telling new mothers not to put too much pressure on themselves and compare to other mothers. Each mother or baby is unique. What works for others might not be working for you, and you will have to find your core balance and synchronize it into your life.

But if you really think that you need to get some supplement to improve your overall well being, check with your doctor first. Not all herbal supplement is safe for breastfeeding mother, so even if others have no problem taking kava, that doesn’t mean it’s safe for you. Consult a doctor first.

But most importantly, acknowledge that there are bad days as well as good days for everyone. When you feel that you are too stressful, step back or do something you really enjoy. It helps a lot.

I was talking to some mothers just now and our topics of discussion lingered about what should our children learned. I operated a learning center before, so I’ve seen a number of parents who are eager to expose their children for their own good or just being kiasu. Frankly, there’s nothing wrong with enrolling your children in all those mental arithmetic, drawing, dancing, drama or anything extra classes as long as you can afford it and your children enjoy the classes. My boy just told me recently that he wanted to learn violin, but he’s too young for it. I might let him try later when he’s older, provided that he’s still interested. Of course, I will tell him that he can’t just quit easily because nothing comes easy at first. He has to be serious about music class as mommy and daddy are paying for the fees and musical instrument, so he better knows what’s lying ahead for him.

However, not every parent will talk to their children about the extra classes. Some will just enroll their kids because they feel that it’s needed. I’ve seen children being forced to do something that they clearly don’t enjoy, and I really wonder why the parents are still forcing. If my boy wants to quit violin later, I will ask him if he still remembers how much he’s interested at first, but he has really lost the passion, I don’t mind him quiting the class. Of course, he can’t just try and quit on everything, so communication is very important before my kids can join any extra classes.

I know that most parents have expectations. I have mine too, but I can’t imply them on my children. I want the best for my kids too, but if they are not enjoying it, what’s the point of forcing them? Will they thank me later if I do? LOL!

I like buying toys for my children. Previously, I was not good at it and I bought books most of the time. But after going through a few online stores and kids shops, I have a better idea of what to get for my children, depending on their state of development. Some parents buy toys by looking at the suggested age, but I would prefer to buy choose according to my children’s needs, interests, and milestone.

A blogger mother, WS, suggested that I check out this webstore called MyToysandBooks.com. I did find a lot of nice toys here, and I’m getting a few sets for my children. I like my kids to learn through play, that’s why I don’t really emphasize on writing or memorizing. Nonetheless, my boy is very interested in learning at school and he likes writing a lot. Maybe it’s due to the fact that I didn’t expose him to these formal type of learning method, so he finds it interesting.

Anyway, just check out the toys. They are not only educational, they are fun too.

I really don’t know what to say about this news. I am still wondering how the boy can stay in a dirty place all by himself for 2 years. Even if the mother sees him every 2 or 3 weeks, why can’t she clean up the place? She’s busy working and I know it’s hard to be a single mother. But how hard can it take to clean the place for your own son?

Anyway, no one knows how did the things ended up there in the house. If the mother really can’t take a good care of him, I hope that the grandaunt or social welfare will take the responsibility. But deep inside my heart, I pray that the mother will take good care of him, of course, I can’t say anything about this. I just feel that it’s hard to leave your kids behind. If things didn’t turn out well for my marriage and I have to be a single mother, I still want my kids to be with me. Maybe I need to get jobs in engineering field or selling promotional products, but as long as my kids are with me, I think the hard work is worth it.

As I said, being a single mother is hard. Maybe there are some hidden stories that we are not aware of.

When I told one of my friends that my kids are learning phonics from Starfall.com, they didn’t agree on my way of exposing my children to computer. They are afraid of their boys will be addicted to computer games, and this is one of my fears as well. But nonetheless, I always believe that if you talk to your kids well and set the boundary, it’s always good for them to explore something new. Learning phonics can be really boring sometimes, if you have been doing it with games and quizzes. I think Starfall.com has lots of games that manage to capture the attention of the children and at the same time, they are learning how to read as well.

When my kids were babies, I sang phonic songs from “Ants on the Apple” book. You can get it from MPH, and it’s pretty easy to learn. Once I noticed that my boy can master the sound, I began to introduce learning phonics with computer games. Even my little gal likes it too, but she can’t work well with the mouse, of course.

But there’s another thing that parents might want to take note if you are introducing computer to your little children. Please make sure that your PC has parental control and you are the one who open the website for them. I don’t let them explore more than Starfall.com. Besides that, you have to watch the distance between the screen from your child so that she’s not sitting too close to the monitor. It’s to protect her eyes. The last but not least, make sure that your computer cables and CAT5e lines are all organized and hidden behind. Sometimes, kids might be curious to pull the cables and it’s important to prevent them from electrocuted.

So, do you like Starfall.com? But if you still think your children are not ready for this, just wait for the right time.

I know that we definitely need to have a car in Bangkok later, but we haven’t made up on which model to get. I might just check out those used cars victoria and see if there’s any model which I like, but judging from hubby’s preference, I know that he will choose to buy a pick up truck. Furthermore, driving a truck is pretty common in Bangkok.

Besides that, I don’t think we will get a used car. All the while we prefer a new car since it’s under warranty for at least a year. Anyway, not all used cars are bad. My brother got one with good price and it’s a nice car too. Maybe we should just keep our option open. Who knows if we will get a good bargain?