Mothering Corner

Hubby and I came to an agreement that we should bring my kids to anywhere we go, no matter how far or near it is as much as possible. Firstly, we don’t have anyone to take care of them for us, and secondly, they will only stick to us like this when they are young. Some of my friends would say that we have all our lifetime to be with the kids, why can’t we have a few days of romantic trip to Outer Banks rental home?

Well, I admit that I’m dying for a trip like that, but I know that my kids need us. They will grow up very fast and may have their circles of friends and one day, they will think that hanging out with us is not as cool as previously. Who knows? I used to be like that when I was younger too!

So, let us enjoy the moments of being glued to our kids as much as possible. It’s only now or never.

I admire most of the working mums that I know. Some of them don’t even have maids at home, and they will have to take care of the house, kids and husbands once they got back from work. Some of them cannot quit their jobs due to financial commitment, while others may just love their jobs. No matter what the reasons are, juggling a career and a family at the same time is not that easy. My SILs are FTWM, so I know how it feels.

But if possible, I will still prefer to be a SAHM. At least I don’t have to deal with a career and worrying if I’m at my best performance all the time. I can be a workaholic and perfectionism until I give myself a lot of pressure. So, I better stay away from the workforce.

If I’m really desperate in making money, besides blogging, I may just start my own business. I guess getting into a franchise business where all the systems are ready will make things easier for me. Some of these companies include vendstar that specializes in bulk vending machines that capable in generating a 100% cash business and provide up to an 80% profit margin. It sounds like a great work at home opportunity to me, but too bad, it’s only applicable in US.
So, I don’t think I will get back to work in the near future. It’s a personal choice to get back to work after motherhood. As long as you feel good about what you are doing now, it should be fine.

I saw the boppy pillows on Oprah when she was organizing a show for military pregnant mothers. The pillows were given out free, and I was curious about how good they are. I have a nursing pillow which I got before having Isabelle. I was mentally prepared for Cesarean due to placenta previa, but then I didn’t go for it. But the pillow I have was not as comfortable as I thought, so if you are looking for nursing pillow, you may try to get one of those boppy pillows from .

I ‘m not sure if they are available in our stores, but I certainly cannot find one here. However, you can try to get them online and use the coupon from Keep Cash. You will be getting 15% Off Any Boppy Pillow Purchase. If you are still unsure about the pillow, Google for the product review. If Oprah was giving them out for free, I think they should be very good.

Before I was pregnant, I used to play golf with hubby. But I stayed away from the game when a few months before my wedding because I wanted to look fair and radiant. It’s nice to walk 18 holes at the course, even if I’m a lousy player. I only know how to whack the balls, but don’t ask me about the skills, I have no clue about it. Besides, I can’t putt, I just tee off, drive the ball on the green and that’s it!

When I was pregnant, I did some swing, but MIL and SIL was against that idea. They said golf is not a game for pregnant woman. Then when I walked to walk with hubby at the golf course, I was not allowed too because I wasn’t playing. Even if I told them that I would be hubby’s caddy by pushing the trolley (I lied, I just walked, no pushing. LOL!), they still didn’t allow me too. But never mind, if hubby need a caddy, he can always get EziCaddy, the electrical buggy. He doesn’t need me or any caddy huh? Ha!

But still, maybe golf is not a good idea for any expectant mothers. So, I stopped the game for more than 3 years already, and I can’t even find my gloves and golf shoes now!

Before I became a mother, I thought I will be a career woman, and I thought that I won’t quit my job. But things changed and motherhood changed my perspective a lot. I put my kids as my first priority now, and their needs will come first before anything else.

But I know that no matter what, I have to find a way to be financially independent too. Hubby is providing us a good life, but that doesn’t mean that I can rely fully on him. He supports all the basic needs that we have, but when it comes to my shopping spree, I prefer to use my own money. It makes me feel less guilty.

Thus, if you are looking for ways for having your own business, you can try multivend that provides a unique opportunity for anyone in US who wants to have their own business in vending machine. Sometimes, having your own business will create a better prospect in your life, than working for someone else.

So, I have been financially independent of the pass 6 months, and it feels good. I think a lot of mother bloggers will agree on this too.

As a parent, I’m trying to do my best in bring up my kids and hopefully they will grow up and do well in all aspect of their life, and be proud of themselves. Being Chinese in Malaysia is not that easy. Most of the Chinese parents I know are very “kiasu” (scare to lose) since our country has certain rules that we cannot alter, and we have to live with the facts that we got to excel better to get to the same standard as the major race.

Thus, most Chinese parents are really pushing their children to the limit. My niece has be attend tuition classes, does a lot of homework and worksheets, memorizes all sorts of tables and texts and has exams every month, even if she is still in Primary One. Frankly, with a stressful life since young, a lot of children who cannot make it stray away from their studies and get into trouble like drugs, alcohol, vandalism and others. Some of the children I work with have severe headache or migraine, but they are only teens. They will just take pills when the pain strike because no matter what, their studies come first. Most parents will not take it seriously when their children complain about suffering from headache when they are under so much pressure. Thus, this arises the risk of paikiller addiction too.

Hubby and I had agreed that we will not be kiasu parents. No matter how our kids turn out to be, we will still love them. If they need help, we will try to be there for them all the time. I’m afraid of the schools giving too much pressure on my children also when they are entering Chinese school. And if they really get into trouble, I will try my best to give them my support without judging them.

But the thing is, some parents will try to deny the fact that their kids need help. Delaying drugs, alcohol and painkiller addiction treatment is not going to do the kids any good, but only save yourself from the embarrassment that you think you will get. Frankly, “saving face” is less important than our kids’ future. They should just be whoever they are and happy about themselves.

I’m in education line for years, but I don’t spend a lot of time training my kids to be geniuses. I just want them to be healthy and happy. Even if they can score straight As, I will still be proud of their achievements, whatever it is.

I think I strongly influence my kids and slowing turning them into some vain monsters. LOL! I will put on my mask every few days and my kids like to touch the mask and giggle. I told my boy once that mommy is getting old, so I need mask to restore my beauty. Whenever I put on a mask, he will come and tell me that “Mommy, your face pain pain ah? You become old woman already ah?” LOL! I am still trying to ask him not to relate me with old woman, but it seems to be hard at correcting that mistake now.

As for my baby girl, she likes to play with my skin care products. Once, I caught her opening the cover of my expensive moisturizer and pouring the lotion out onto the floor. I almost fainted and kek sim of how much lotion she had wasted for me. Then, she put her hands on the lotion and apply it on her legs. LOL! How vain she is at such a young age. But having my skin lotion on the legs is still wasteful leh…

I stopped using wireless in the room because I am worried about the effect of radiation in the room I am online most of the time when the kids are sleeping at night. I maybe over paranoid about this, but it’s better to be safe and sorry. The effect of radiation is very bad for young children, especially since my kids will be exposing to it most of the time as I hardly disconnect the line.

But still, if you would like to use your wireless modem, put the Linksys router away in the study room or anywhere where your children will hardly be there. I told hubby to set it up in the study room, if FIL insisted on using it when he is back. But most of the time, I will just ask him to go online at the factory because wireless is very unstable and slow, and I hate it.

I opt for epidural for both deliveries because I was very afraid of labour pain. I am fully aware that fear will make the matter worse, and if the mother is not relax, the contraction will be more painful. However, I didn’t want to go through that at all. I wanted to have an easy pain free delivery, so I put it down in my birth plan that epidural is a must after 4cm of dilation.

What is epidural? Epidural is a form of anaesthesia in which impulses in the nerve roots of the spinal cord are blocked by a painkiller drug. It is not only given to mothers with natural birth, but also those who are undergoing a Caesarean. But in most cases, it’s called a spinal block.

Thus, if someone tells you that you will get backache if you opt for epidural, that means all those mothers which Caeserean will be suffering the same too! My hubby even told me that epidural will make me suffering from memory loss. LOL! Well, unless the myths are proven, if not, I will not believe them.

However, please bear in mind that like all pain free methods, epidural has its pros and cons too.

For mothers, you will have a less stressful labour because you are not experience the pain, and this will make it easier for you when you are bonding with your newborn baby. I experienced this feeling twice because I didn’t go through the pain, the labour process was very anticipated. So, when baby came out, I felt energized instead of exhausted.

But your labour process may be longer as the contractions are less effective and you can’t get down from the bed to move around. I read about mobile epidural, but it is not available in our hospitals yet. Thus, the first and second stage of labour will take longer, and the labour process will be delayed.

On top of that, I had a bad drop in blood pressure for my second labour. My pressure was so low, I was too drowsy to pay attention to what was going on. I almost felt asleep! But luckily, Isabelle’s head appeared without pushing, and since her umbilical cord was around her neck, the doctor helped me a lot in pulling her out with just one or two pushes. It’s probably due to the fact that she was a smaller baby too.

After labour, you may experience some difficulties in urinate for a few hours, but keep trying. One of my friends was too afraid to pee, she needed catherisation into the bladder, and imagine all our stitches down there, it’s a painful experience for her!

Oh ya, before I forgot. I have one more point to add. During my first labour, I couldn’t push Justin out because he had a big head. Besides, with epidural, the pushing might not be well synchronized with the contraction and you only push when you are told to. So, he was delivered with a ventouse. So, there is a risk of aided delivery. So, just take note of this.

I know that I will be staying with my parents in laws once I got married. My plan is to stay with them when my kids are young because I know I need someone in taking care of the kids. Even if I can easily get a maid, but I don’t trust the maid when she is new. LOL! Talking about a picky boss huh?

But when my kids are older, I prefer to have our own house. I would like them to have their own rooms so that they can learn to be independent and respect each other’s privacy. If we are staying here, we will not have 2 extra rooms for the kids, and they will still be sharing a room together because there is not any other room available.

Thus, getting a house is part of our plan. But it’s a mortgage, so we better plan it out properly. If you are from Oregon, you can easily get an Oregon home mortgage from Oregon Best Mortgage. They can help you to get the best mortgage by giving you the quote based on the amount you would like to borrow. On top of that, if you already have a house, and you would like to consolidate your debt, you can also try Oregon mortgage refinance. By refinancing you house, you may get the extra cash that you need for your own purpose or plans.

But I wonder when I will get a house or mortgage. Hopefully we have get this done before my kids are going to primary school.